Setting Boundaries: When Love Means Saying No

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a mother is that love isn’t always about saying yes. When addiction and mental illness take hold of your child, the instinct to protect and provide can backfire. Enabling unhealthy behaviors, even out of love, only deepens the cycle of pain. But how do you say no to someone you’d give your life for?

Boundaries became my lifeline. At first, they felt cold and unnatural. Saying, “I can’t give you money,” or “You can’t live here under these circumstances,” felt like abandoning my child. But I learned that boundaries are an act of love, not rejection. They create the structure and accountability our children need to find their way back to health. It’s not easy. Tears will fall, guilt will surface, and doubt will creep in. But holding firm to your boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do—for your child and yourself.